wieslaw mysliwski

wieslaw mysliwski

in this book i read a sentence that struck me

the narrator tells his story and asked..

isn't remembering a kind of light that comes to us from a no longer excisting star? maybe a memory that may not reach you at all?

isn't the whole life a remembrance?

how little are  the problems in the past you thought you never survive ...

how soothing   isn't it?

surrender

what makes us who we are?

how to find back my connection with nature, the part of nature that includes death ( for me... my husband Noud, dog tovke and the alzheimer desaster for my mum) with my brain i know its normal but now it makes me mad and sad. 

i don't want to accept

life has no purpose

butbutbut

nature always heal me

but now???

butbutbut

ik ben verdrietig, ik ben boos, ik wil niet weten dat het gaat zoals het gaat......

terwijl ik in het verleden troost vond in de natuur, dat als een sneeuwvklokje uitgebloeid is, het volgend jaar weer gewoon terug komt

dat je water en wind niet niet tegen kan houden

het troost me niet

het komt niet aan

yvonne zei....ben je niet gewoon bang dat je moeder dood gaat

mijn moeder zei....niet verdrietig zijn hoor, het is net als bij tovke, die was gewoon op, net als noud, die was blij dat hij geen adem meer hoefde te halen, zo benauwd was hij

das zei....je hoeft niet bang te zijn, wij zijn er voor je

de honden laten zich gelden, wij zijn er ook nog

maar ik blijf ontroostbaar

ik blijf huilen

water hou je niet tegen

hoe hou je tranen tegen?

ik hoop dat het gaat sneeuwstormen, daar kan ik echt niet omheen

toch de natuur die troost......

be the person your dog knows you are

meditation of Eckhart Tolle

if you learn to accept the ending of the things in your life and even welcome them, you may learn that the feeling of awfull emptiness changes in a peacefull feeling of inner space

this year

the picture says it all I think.......

love

walk the dogs

stitch .....all textile things

read

ragmates ( aka Jude, Grace and all )

LOVE 

happy new year !

a year for dreams never been dreamed........

kijk uit met vuurwerk....ALSTUBLIEFT

 

collect moments, not things

TJA

nothing to show and tell

and on top of it all

upside down

first impression

if you meet somebody for the first time and  you get. a negative first impression

are you going to  look if it's the truth ( for you?) 

or can you only see a fat person?

I found in a book the thought that people can be too proud to change their opinion......

at first sight i see a piece of cloth on a cabin and think...yekkkk

at a closer look, a detail of the cloth, i see how beautiful it is...

is this a good comparison?

where there is ruin there is hope for treasures

often said and actually boring

but my work never fails because there are beautyfull pieces or...

also boring

well..... 

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. ~ Rumi*

By collecting stuff to be thrown away, my eye catched a little, inimini toadstool. It asked to take a picture from her with a Tovke ( Tovkes are my little creations for luck ). You see the moss reflected in the little mirror? Now the question is what to do with the wood? Hold or letting go?

BBC ....the universe

At the end of à programma about the universe , the man said.....

You are because you have to be.....

Isn't it à beautiful saying?

 

There was a leave, wol, silk and me and this is the result!

                                                                                

Dalai Lama

Søren Kierkegaard

Equinox aka autumn

Equinox..............time to be thankfull for the gifts of mother earth

I know, I know

but I miss you so

a feeling I wake up with every day, a feeling so black, a feeling so hard to fight.....
what is the meaning of me participating in life,
but I have to keep in mind that there is a purpose for me
if it's 16.00 I start feeling better
if hub is not at work he tried to talk me out of sadness
now he takes it for granted......it is what it is
depression
for the people around me this is better than a manic episode
every cloud has a silver lining isn't it...

let the past makes us better not bitter

again an alternative weave

wool silk acorns and grass

it's a detail of a tovke ( talisman ) for luck

webbies all the luck in the world for you

and let the past makes us better not bitter

not really an item for the online course ,considering weave ,  from Jude Hill.
but hey is this interwoven or not?
the wool through the silk becomes a beautiful fabric don't you think?

happiness often enters through a door you forgot  it was open

they also serve who only stands and wait

mam went all her life to church and she wants to pray but she wants to do it together with somebody
who is a Christian too. she really is confused and I'm often the object of 
her psychoses so that's is not helping when I try to read her something from the bible
her suspiousness makes her  sometimes angry and when I sit with her to read from bible, she says...you and your talks about god...go away.( by the way my church time is 40 years or so gone)
my friend  Clemy, a former nun, working amongst the poorest people in Nigeria, is a big help here
although she's roman catholic and mam is not , she is wanted for her religieus autority 
this time they talked about a line in a poem from Milton:
they understood each other so wel

they also serve who only stands and wait


.........................

When I consider how my light is spent 
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide, 
And that one talent which is death to hide 
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent 
To serve therewith my Maker, and present 
My true account, lest he returning chide, 
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" 
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent 
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need 
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best 
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state 
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed 
And post o'er land and ocean without rest: 
They also serve who only stand and wait."

John Milton

wicca

explain the pain

aha

the book explain the pain is really really good

but my woman who re validates me is really special!

she lets me do exercises my way and my way has proven 

to be not  succesfull

when it went wrong ( of course) she asked me

what do you need right now and without thinking I said 

TOF

she didn't understood of course but when I explained that Tof was my dog who died a couple of months ago she said...i think she's here to help you?

strangely enough  from all my death love ones i could feel them around me but not Tof

suddenly she said something very special.....

maybe she keeps some distance to let you see you have to look at yourself and  accept yourself as you are 

not angry, not impatient

ok 

i am who i am

it is as it is

the baggie is little but it has not so much to carry

ha! 

( would Jude Hill say)

baggie is full
I'm empty
asking for help......so so difficult
but at last
when it was obvious that help was really necessary, because a walk with the dogs more then 15 minutes was too much
I did ask and revalidation will start again


till later

Das has to celebrate his first birthday without Tovke.....

sometimes the hardest thing  is acting normal


heartbleed virus infected my yahoo account so if you think i'm in trouble don't click links.....I lost a couple of months mail so if you feel neglectid..... sorry..please write me.

once in a while

once in a while nature shows me how life goes on and on but in different forms

it gives me power to accept death

here a flower and seed at the same plant

I took  my iphone while walking with Blaf and Shuka and could show it to you

isn't it beautyfull?

tree

you've seen it all

and more

will you help us

to never

forget them

4 may

the day to remember 

those who died in war

Chuck Palahniuk

Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things.....they save you....