Tuesday, 3 January 2012

tast....take a stitch tuesday

a new  goal
a crazy  diary quilt
a mixture of stitches from Sharon ( a weekly stitch, given to be learned )
and number 1 inspirator... Jude from Sprit Cloth.
starting from here.......heavy cotton, printed (almost forgot....India Flint...)with cotinus and rust, false couch stitch with the written...love you more...
now try the flystitch........wish me luck

while writing this, my phone is ringing and my mother is speaking on my answering machine. She's crying and my heart breaks, she wants me to be with her, she has the idea the building she lives in is broken down, big pieces of concrete falling down, she asks where her grandchildren are, do they have her pashmina between the clothes she gave away, she's afraid my dogs run over, there's a head of a dead dear in the hall, what to do with the man who follows her everywhere, didn´t I see the glass coffin where the dead man was in?  She's tries to ring me mobile and house telephone at the same time (a very strange happening I must say..2 telephones ringing at the same time from 1 person...) she knows how to reach me but at the same time she doesn't understand i'm not standing next to her. A very nice gentleman from the nursing home installed a quick number so she can reach me with ease. Mam, i'm so sad, so very sad, you have to be so frightened. If I give in and come to you, I make things worse, you being afraid starts sooner and sooner, you must depend on the nurses there, I must live a life of my own. It's crap I've to lay down most of the day and hear you call...I wish I could be out.
I notice i can write this with more distance because it's in english. I have to write it down because it helps me to cope with my sadness and not being able to change the path my mother has to walk.  I've been asked why out and in the open, but this is my way .
sorry, no need to read.
on top of it all bad english, bad bad english
my way