Thursday, 11 December 2014

Friday, 21 November 2014

first impression

if you meet somebody for the first time and  you get. a negative first impression
are you going to  look if it's the truth ( for you?) 
or can you only see a fat person?
I found in a book the thought that people can be too proud to change their opinion......

at first sight i see a piece of cloth on a cabin and think...yekkkk
at a closer look, a detail of the cloth, i see how beautiful it is...
is this a good comparison?

Monday, 3 November 2014

where there is ruin there is hope for treasures

often said and actually boring
but my work never fails because there are beautyfull pieces or...
also boring

Monday, 27 October 2014

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. ~ Rumi*

By collecting stuff to be thrown away, my eye catched a little, inimini toadstool. It asked to take a picture from her with a Tovke ( Tovkes are my little creations for luck ). You see the moss reflected in the little mirror? Now the question is what to do with the wood? Hold or letting go?

Monday, 20 October 2014

BBC ....the universe

At the end of à programma about the universe , the man said.....

You are because you have to be.....

Isn't it à beautiful saying?

There was a leave, wol, silk and me and this is the result!


Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Equinox aka autumn

Equinox..............time to be thankfull for the gifts of mother earth

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

I know, I know
but I miss you so

a feeling I wake up with every day, a feeling so black, a feeling so hard to fight.....
what is the meaning of me participating in life,
but I have to keep in mind that there is a purpose for me
if it's 16.00 I start feeling better
if hub is not at work he tried to talk me out of sadness
now he takes it for is what it is
for the people around me this is better than a manic episode
every cloud has a silver lining isn't it...

Saturday, 23 August 2014

let the past makes us better not bitter

again an alternative weave
wool silk acorns and grass

it's a detail of a tovke ( talisman ) for luck
webbies all the luck in the world for you
and let the past makes us better not bitter

Thursday, 14 August 2014

not really an item for the online course ,considering weave ,  from Jude Hill.
but hey is this interwoven or not?
the wool through the silk becomes a beautiful fabric don't you think?

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

they also serve who only stands and wait

mam went all her life to church and she wants to pray but she wants to do it together with somebody
who is a Christian too. she really is confused and I'm often the object of 
her psychoses so that's is not helping when I try to read her something from the bible
her suspiousness makes her  sometimes angry and when I sit with her to read from bible, she and your talks about god...go away.( by the way my church time is 40 years or so gone)
my friend  Clemy, a former nun, working amongst the poorest people in Nigeria, is a big help here
although she's roman catholic and mam is not , she is wanted for her religieus autority 
this time they talked about a line in a poem from Milton:
they understood each other so wel

they also serve who only stands and wait


When I consider how my light is spent 
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide, 
And that one talent which is death to hide 
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent 
To serve therewith my Maker, and present 
My true account, lest he returning chide, 
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" 
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent 
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need 
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best 
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state 
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed 
And post o'er land and ocean without rest: 
They also serve who only stand and wait."

John Milton

Friday, 20 June 2014

explain the pain


the book explain the pain is really really good
but my woman who re validates me is really special!
she lets me do exercises my way and my way has proven 
to be not  succesfull
when it went wrong ( of course) she asked me
what do you need right now and without thinking I said 
she didn't understood of course but when I explained that Tof was my dog who died a couple of months ago she said...i think she's here to help you?
strangely enough  from all my death love ones i could feel them around me but not Tof
suddenly she said something very special.....
maybe she keeps some distance to let you see you have to look at yourself and  accept yourself as you are 
not angry, not impatient
i am who i am
it is as it is
the baggie is little but it has not so much to carry
( would Jude Hill say)

Sunday, 8 June 2014

baggie is full
I'm empty
asking for so difficult
but at last
when it was obvious that help was really necessary, because a walk with the dogs more then 15 minutes was too much
I did ask and revalidation will start again

till later

Sunday, 25 May 2014

Das has to celebrate his first birthday without Tovke.....

sometimes the hardest thing  is acting normal

heartbleed virus infected my yahoo account so if you think i'm in trouble don't click links.....I lost a couple of months mail so if you feel neglectid..... sorry..please write me.

Thursday, 8 May 2014

once in a while

once in a while nature shows me how life goes on and on but in different forms
it gives me power to accept death
here a flower and seed at the same plant
I took  my iphone while walking with Blaf and Shuka and could show it to you
isn't it beautyfull?

Sunday, 4 May 2014

you've seen it all
and more
will you help us
to never
forget them
4 may
the day to remember 
those who died in war

Friday, 11 April 2014

Chuck Palahniuk

Yes, terrible things happen, but sometimes those terrible things.....they save you....

Sunday, 6 April 2014

my most favorite day of the year......


it's my birthday and I know how childish it is but I love it
I feel loved
lots of presents
naughty isn't it

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Neil Gaiman......."face life, its pleasure, its pain, leave no path untaken"

daheks 1

healing stitches

for en with Martine

 Neil Gaiman's quote came to my attention and touched me by

Blogger Mo Crow said...
(((Yvette))) there is a wonderful you tube clip by Neil Gaiman addresssing the graduating class of 2012 that gives me heart to keep going... & "make good art"
here's the link


Tuesday, 11 March 2014

..................................translation follows...............

De laatste tijd zit ik wat in de penarie. Het gevolg daarvan  vind ik heel moeilijk, we hebben steeds maar ruzie, mijn lieffie en ik.
De oorzaak is velerlei , de dood van Tovke mijn hond, het manisch depressief zijn waarvan de twee uitingen wel dwars door elkaar te lijken lopen, het jaargetijde (  last van vallende of ontluikende blaadjes schijnt ook bij de ziekte te horen), het immense verdriet van een vriendin, de angst voor mijn moeders angst (Alzheimer gaat met hallucinaties gepaard en die van mijn moeder zijn heel akelig en betreffen vaak mij en mijn zelfmoord pogingen in het verleden), het tijdstip van de dood van Noud, mijn eerste man, de zoveelste ingreep aan mijn kapotte rug die geen baat geeft, pijn pijn pijn, het nutteloos, machteloos, overbodig voelen en het schuldig voelen.
Eigenlijk kan ik wel zeggen dat dat het moeilijkste voor mijn omgeving is. Lieffie hoeft maar iets te zeggen en ik voel het als terechtwijzing, voel ik me schuldig dat ik dat veroorzaakt heb, voel ik me schuldig dat ik er überhaupt ben. Liet ik nu maar gewoon alles over me heengaan maar ik word boos en bozer, verdrietig, boos, verdrietig, geïrriteerd, verdrietig en raak tenslotte volledig de weg kwijt .
Gisteren was mijn byzondere, heel byzonder lieve vriendin bij mij om een film te kijken en ze zag een ruzie ontstaan.
Wat ik mijn lieffie nooit hoor zeggen (hij doet het wel maar anders en door de boosheid komt het toch niet aan) zei mijn vriendin wel.............................Yvette, wees nou eens overtuigd dat je een lieve, mooie, goede, grappige, wijze vrouw bent. Je kan het niet voelen want het komt niet aan, op de een of andere manier heb je nooit geleerd dat je er ook mag zijn, dat je er bent en er wat toe doet. Misschien moet je elke dag een engelenkaartje trekken.....(mijn vriendin die echt heel heel erg allergisch is van al dat zweverige....we kregen allemaal de slappe lach....zij die het over engelenkaartjes had...)
Nou ga dan weer je blog schrijven en maak er iets moois van, iets waar je blij van wordt, iets waar je weer wat positiever van wordt.
Lieffie....ik ga je vertrouwen zodat heel heel misschien ik ook op mezelf kan gaan vertrouwen, ik ga luisteren naar wat ik goed doe en weer mooie dingen opzoeken om mooie logjes te schrijven en dan zal ik accepteren dat ik stomme dingen doe en dat daar best iets over gezegd mag worden zonder dat ik er niet meer wil zijn.

Thursday, 13 February 2014



in silence, under my soft merino and silk felted cloth, i try to heal from last weeks
it takes a ruïne to find treasures isn't it? 

Monday, 27 January 2014


Since love grows within, so beauty grows.
for love is the beauty of the soul

the pile of cloth made with love doesn't grow
yet the love grows because little pieces are defined

I try to isolate the pain from my whole life
but sometimes life is so complicated that the power for isolating is poor

webbies....look for love
what who when it shines on
beauty whitin grows!

don't you think?

Friday, 10 January 2014



accept me as I am

even if I want space

space to cry 


lets honour each other's needs


my friend