leaves fall so sun shines bettter through the branches

     

Tovke for luck  

little bubblies are early fallen acorns

tovkes are little talismans for luck....

I like when you smile, but i love it when i'm the reason

Chiffon, merino, wenslydale, silk waste.

The yellow color is from goldenrod.

tova

Want to be your funny face

Een miskoop, de zitzak. Not my best bargain

Maarrrrr Felix, aka daddy longlegsde, de eerste geadopteerde galgo, in onze familie ( door aanhoudende liefde voor Felix van mijn schoonzusje en een aarzelende broer )

Een goede verstaander begrijpt nu de rolverdeling in het gezin...

Felix dus vindt het een absoluut geen miskoop maar een zeer gewaardeerd zonnebed!

Felix is addicted by the softness of the sunbed.

Blaf houdt het zeer eigenwijs op de bestuurdersstoel!

Dit zijn toch laugh suckers instead of tear suckers

If i feel worthless, people say that the best you can do for the people around you is to show my sunny face and simple jokes mean something for the world.

One sweet dog  picture sent by my my sweet friend to make me feel as happy as possible, to and this post

The dogs and their tree friends

If one thing helps you when you're very depressed is walking early in nature and my girls earned it so much

So no morphine

Get in the car and drive to the treefriends we are worried about after the storm

The itchy tree is ok

The tree that make me always think at Jude's stray cats is ok

But the Martine tree (last year) is down..can you see blaf left next to the tree?

 Immense

We were forbidden to go into the bush but would't it be nice for the dogs to play and make holes....

Immense

Tjaaa....

We are so tiny 

But walking in the wood there was noice of helicopters so ....

A woman was missing in the water in zandvoort and the people on the beach spontane made a human life line

( thanks for the unknownphotographer )

We have forces too!

Dealing with black

It must be boring to read , but there is an off switch and I need to write things down.

Times are over that I hide my dark feelings and pretend to be happy and full of energy to organise fun stuff

Busy busy busy so I don't feel the dark thoughts, pushing them away.

But if I feel I'm loosing it I have to concentrate at something I love

Otherwise I stay in bed feeling bad

Today was such a day, waking up crying ( why???)

Not knowing what to do with the day except walking the blackones.

We met sheep! 

A herd walks from time to time to eat grass ...everybody happy , well not everybody because you had to leash your dog.

I'm always so surpriced the real sheepherd instinct is still in tact with my dogs. Long ago the breed was official " nederlandse schapendoes "

Back home my mood softened...

Really lifting up yourself by looking at things that moves me worked today

Vacation 2015

Stormy wheather

despite the pain

 the comment on no escape from Michelle  http://mscomfortzone.blogspot.com was so helpful that today I can concentrate on the other side of the road. There where beauty is...there where I can see the things that make me happy

thanks Michelle!

"Actually everything is simple.

There is one straight road and if you open your eyes you can go along it.
I don't see the need for all sorts of clever short cuts.
Happiness and sadness are both on the road
there is no road that avoids them
but peace is found on this road

nowhere else."

(Rabindrenath Tagore) 

no escape

can I surrender?

surrender to the pain

not  today .....I feel trapped  ...desperate....I see no way out

pain and me must become friends

midsummer

rich....we are so rich.......

spring

spring is the time in this area when toads move from the wood to the water

for years and years we ask the community to help us save the toads because the have to pass a busy road.

the sign came ( translated.....toad transporters....) and buckets to catch the toads and bring them to saver ground.

a lovely friend of me

Anita,

is very commited and  persuate to mobilise people in the neighbourhood  to help her

                     

this is typical dutch spring with de " bollenvelden"  ( tulips) too

below inimini seedlings of a beech

spring a year ago with another dear friend

my spring goal is visiting Norway......

by getting a stronger leg.........

I hope the feathers from heaven , sent by Noud on his birtday that would be today , touch our hearts with soft whispers of hope

............

the earth........

if you fall, trust on your given possibilities....

dare to dream

bee happy

             n.           bb.        n. n mmmmm.    vvv b

today i came back from swimming and felt a little bit sad

while drinking my coffee my eye caught a piece of embroiderie from Martine

 ( ateliercolore.blogspot.com )

bee happy

suddenly i realised it was the day , 9 years ago, my husband noud died and at the same time my dog blaf was born

thank you martine ....you transformed beauty out of immense sadness and made me realise that for me death and birth were at the same time 9 years ago!

bee happy

             n.           bb.        n. n mmmmm.    vvv b

today i came back from swimming and felt a little bit sad

while drinking my coffee my eye caught a piece of embroiderie from Martine

 ( ateliercolore.blogspot.com )

bee happy

suddenly i realised it was the day , 9 years ago, my husband noud died and at the same time my dog blaf was born

thank you martine ....you transformed beauty out of immense sadness and made me realise that for me death and birth were at the same time 9 years ago!

bee happy

             n.           bb.        n. n mmmmm.    vvv b

today i came back from swimming and felt a little bit sad

while drinking my coffee my eye caught a piece of embroiderie from Martine

 ( ateliercolore.blogspot.com )

bee happy

suddenly i realised it was the day , 9 years ago, my husband noud died and at the same time my dog blaf was born

thank you martine ....you transformed beauty out of immense sadness and made me realise that for me death and birth were at the same time 9 years ago!

wieslaw mysliwski

wieslaw mysliwski

in this book i read a sentence that struck me

the narrator tells his story and asked..

isn't remembering a kind of light that comes to us from a no longer excisting star? maybe a memory that may not reach you at all?

isn't the whole life a remembrance?

how little are  the problems in the past you thought you never survive ...

how soothing   isn't it?

surrender

what makes us who we are?

how to find back my connection with nature, the part of nature that includes death ( for me... my husband Noud, dog tovke and the alzheimer desaster for my mum) with my brain i know its normal but now it makes me mad and sad. 

i don't want to accept

life has no purpose

butbutbut

nature always heal me

but now???

butbutbut

ik ben verdrietig, ik ben boos, ik wil niet weten dat het gaat zoals het gaat......

terwijl ik in het verleden troost vond in de natuur, dat als een sneeuwvklokje uitgebloeid is, het volgend jaar weer gewoon terug komt

dat je water en wind niet niet tegen kan houden

het troost me niet

het komt niet aan

yvonne zei....ben je niet gewoon bang dat je moeder dood gaat

mijn moeder zei....niet verdrietig zijn hoor, het is net als bij tovke, die was gewoon op, net als noud, die was blij dat hij geen adem meer hoefde te halen, zo benauwd was hij

das zei....je hoeft niet bang te zijn, wij zijn er voor je

de honden laten zich gelden, wij zijn er ook nog

maar ik blijf ontroostbaar

ik blijf huilen

water hou je niet tegen

hoe hou je tranen tegen?

ik hoop dat het gaat sneeuwstormen, daar kan ik echt niet omheen

toch de natuur die troost......

be the person your dog knows you are

meditation of Eckhart Tolle

if you learn to accept the ending of the things in your life and even welcome them, you may learn that the feeling of awfull emptiness changes in a peacefull feeling of inner space

this year

the picture says it all I think.......

love

walk the dogs

stitch .....all textile things

read

ragmates ( aka Jude, Grace and all )

LOVE 

happy new year !

a year for dreams never been dreamed........

kijk uit met vuurwerk....ALSTUBLIEFT

 

collect moments, not things

TJA

nothing to show and tell

and on top of it all

upside down